ParentalNotes.com - Parenting Articles and Resources » Six Ways To Prepare Your Child for College

Six Ways To Prepare Your Child for College

August 22nd, 2007 | Category: Parenting

A life coach, academic dvisor, and faculty offers some easy tips to make the transition to college easier for both parent and child.
With the end of summer millions of American families will experience the ritual of sending a child off to college. Whether it is across country or across town, the experience is packed with potential successes and pitfalls. Some are out of the control of any parent, but parents can and should reduce their college student?s anxiety about this brave new world — and reduce their own as well.

As an academic advisor and adjunct faculty with over 15 years experience in both Ivy League Colleges and community colleges, I have seen parents on both end of the hindering and helping spectrum. It can be very painful to watch an interaction between parent and child that you realize is setting up a first year student for a miserable freshman year.

Here are some tips you, as a concern parent, can do to help you and your college student prepare for that all-important first year of college:

1) Remember that attitude is everything. Is the goal of a college education to increase one?s earning power or develop a meaningful philosophy of life? You have your idea, but what about your child? Do you know? Have you bothered to ask what they expect to get out of the college? Listen carefully to what your child says about expectations and foster those positive things, even if you may not agree 100%. Helping your child have a clear goal will motivate him or her to do well academically.

2) Get Organized. Being organized gives a person a feeling of power, of being in control, and increases the ?can-do? attitude necessary to take on rigorous academic courses. Purchasing student planners and setting up a filing system for notes and papers before school begins will set a tone and practice that will hopefully carry through the semester.

3) Get the basic skills needed to succeed. Freshmen are notorious for overestimating their own abilities. It?s normal, they?ve mastered high school (their world up until now). To maintain success in college students need to know how to study and ask for help in an area that may be a deficiency. Most schools required a College Success Course. If not, encourage your child to take it as an elective or find appropriate resources (see number 6 below).

4) Create a motivation space. None of us live in a vacuum and our physical environments either inspire, excite, or depress us. Where your child studies is a critical area. Make sure it is neat and he or she has easy access to resources. A few motivation posters, in addition to the latest rock band, will also help.

5) Encourage a supportive network of peers for your child. Studies have shown that a student?s peer group is the single most important influence on a college student. Urge them to participate in positive activities and organizations, social or academic. But be careful not to immediate reject your child?s new friend based on physical appearance alone.

6) Hire a coach for your child. While some institutions have excellent mentoring and support for students, others do not either due to size or budget constraints. A dirty little truth is that while the vast majority of academic advisors are excellent in their jobs, they work for the college not your child. Retention is a big buzzword on most campuses and your child may be persuaded to stay at an institution or in a major not in the child?s best interest in order to keep statistics up. A good coach?s interest is always in the client?s development and well being, period.

7) Hire a coach for yourself. Whether this is your first or last child off to college, transitions await you as well. How well are you coping with the emotional and financial changes of sending a child off to college? How do you balance being a caring parent and realizing someone must make his or her own way? Are you ready to live your life and not your child?s? I had an advisee that could not answer the most basic questions unless he called his mother on his cell phone. Five years later I wonder if he is in a meeting with his boss ?calling his Mommy? for advice.

About the Author

Dennis Gaudet,is a life planning coach whose specialty is helping people develop step by step acttion plans to design the type of life they want. Dennis can be reached for individual coaching sessions at dennis@livesbydesign.com

403 Comments so far

Bill Coplin August 22nd, 2007 8:23 pm

Dennis makes some great points. As a college professor and undergraduate adviser to 1,000’s of students over the past 40 years, the first point that I make with parents is to reduce their own anxiety that their child will not graduate college or not be ready for the world after college. There is good reason for that anxiety especially with the cost of higher education. But get it under control and don’t let it influence your decisions or your desire to micro-manage your high school or college student. The best thing is to read the serenity oath every day and realize that your child is responsible for their education. I practiced that principle with my kids and one them failed out of college before the end of the freshman year. Today he is a manager of insurance underwriters, has a sailboat, three kids, a house and a wife and is enjoying life. The others graduated college but are any better off as far as their happiness goes.
Daniel September 11th, 2007 1:39 am

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Six Ways To Prepare Your Child for College

403 Comments so far